There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope.
Those first moments of awareness were profoundly horrifying. The weight of the first grief nearly drove me to my knees. But so many people felt the same that I was more afraid to fall to my knees than to stand and stride foward. Literally, the most difficult thing I have ever done was set aside my own feelings and inclinations, and do what needed doing. I didn’t know anything else to do.