I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I’d cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.

From Sylvia Plath

The Plath quote opens Chapter 2 in which I stray from the facts and circumstances and share some of my bewilderment and sensations.

I was plagued by a deep longing to close and lock our doors and tape paper over the windows, locking out the outside world. I badly wanted to hunker down in a corner and cover my head with my hands and make sense of what was happening.

I never could find my equilibrium though. And so I kept busy taking care of others and completing tasks. I didn’t let anyone know that the tears were brimming and sloshing just under the surface, and eventually they weren’t so close to the top.

Still, some days felt very… precarious.

Kari

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